The service that the nearly 2 million members of the United States Armed Forces provide every day may not be seen by every single person in the country, but if they are wearing the cloth of the nation, you know that they are doing their part for the greater good of the country.
Many of those service members also have families, and they rely on their partners to take care of the very important matters at home so their loved ones can do the business that comes with service. The selfless service these men and women provide is seen even less than those that wear the uniform, but it is a form of support that can’t be emphasized enough.
Sheila Casey is the wife of retired four-star General and 36th Army Chief of Staff George Casey Jr. She has also dedicated herself to other passions such as her own career in government and ways to serve other people. A pillar that she leans on to do everything she has done is fitness and being her best self and, in her eyes, the reason is obvious.
“If you didn’t take care of yourself, then you would not have the ability to take care of your family and anything else that was important.”
LIFE AS A MILITARY WIFE AND MOTHER
Casey has been active for most of her life, but women’s sports weren’t as prominent as they are today. She discovered swimming and competed for 12 years in that sport. After she got married, one would think her new sport would have been competitive relocation because of the life that comes with walking the aisle alongside a soldier.
“I moved 25 times over the course of 41 years.”
Their relocations spanned the world, and while her husband did what he could when he could, much of the work fell on her shoulders; work like coordinating the move itself, setting up the home, and getting to know the new community after having just gotten used to the roads and places of the one they just left.
Aside from handling all the matters that come with moving so often, she was also a mother to two sons. Even with her experience as the wife of a military member, she would learn even more after her son went on to fight for freedom.
“I thought I understood what it would be like to send a child to a war zone. I quickly realized once that happened, I didn’t have a clue until I actually experienced it myself.”
Putting a family before self is common in most households whether they are military or civilian. There are some husbands that play the supporting role, but a 2017 study by the Department of Defense confirmed that 92 percent of spouses are women, and the notion of caring for others first and sometimes only is a natural instinct.
Casey advised that as noble as it may be, ignoring your needs ultimately doesn’t help the family. She said, “I think that women, who are generally the caregivers, tend to think ‘I’ll take care of myself later,’ but in the long run, it doesn’t help.”
WHY SHE CREATED HER OWN LIFE AND CAREER
Casey acknowledged that her role in a military family has come with some benefits, including skills that she could apply to her own career and life. She found that forging her own path was a necessity, and she noted that her husband agreed.
“I decided early on in my marriage that I needed something for myself. Something, you know, that was my own outside of the military,” she recalled. “And my husband was very supportive of that, and that I could not derive my happiness from my spouse.”
Her résumé is quite impressive and includes 20 years as Chief Operating Officer of The Hill as well as serving as Special Assistant to President Biden and Director of Joining Forces, then First Lady Biden’s initiative supporting military and Veteran families, caregivers, and survivors. She has also been honored as a civilian by the military, including receiving the Defense Distinguished Civilian Service Medal twice.
Today, Casey is a Senior Advisory Partner for American Corporate Partners (ACP), a nonprofit that offers one-to-one mentorships with veterans and military spouses to help them with the underemployment issue. Casey works to increase the number of spouses who can build their own careers. She also works in a similar role with Hiring Our Heroes to help those that are in transition from active duty to civilian life.
Overall, Casey’s experience has served as a beacon of hope and inspiration for others who were previously unsure about building their own careers and lives outside of their roles as military parents and spouses. It wasn’t her original intention but is proud that things turned out that way.
“I can’t tell you how many times over the years that military spouses came up to me and said, ‘Thank you for giving me permission to work.’ And I said, ‘You don’t need my
permission. You need to do what is important for you and your family.’ Everything else falls into line after that.”
FROM MOVING A FAMILY TO MOUNTAIN CLIMBING
The stress that comes with being a military spouse and maintaining your own career could feel like the weight of a mountain at times, having to constantly relocate, introduce yourself to new communities, help children adjust to new schools, and doing all the work that the serving spouse can’t do because of the duties they have to perform. The feeling of conquering those figurative mountains may be why Casey now climbs literal mountains. Two of Casey’s grandchildren told her that they wanted to climb Machu Picchu with her and their grandfather as a graduation gift. So, eight members of the family made the trip for the three-day climb.
“Machu Picchu was really hard,” she recalled. “We climbed for three days to 13,500 (feet) and camped out two nights on the ground in 30-degree weather, which was not exactly fun.”
The entire family is set to go on another mountain climbing adventure later this year, this time to Mount Fuji. Casey wasn’t sure how the choice was made, but she confirmed that she doesn’t intend to make mountain climbing a permanent hobby.
“I will tell you that I did tell my husband this is the last mountain I’m conquering.”
A CALL TO MILITARY FAMILIES
Casey empathizes with the many spouses, parents, and other family members that are sending their loved ones out into various dangerous situations around the world. However, she also speaks to the importance of self-care and being healthy so they can be the best support system possible for those loved ones and able to enjoy life with them once again when they come back home. Her previous commitment to a healthy lifestyle is what she credits for her health and wellness today.
“I don’t have cholesterol issues, blood pressure issues, I don’t have any of that, and so I want to do what I can to stay that way.”
That is why despite a possible mile-long to-do list and feelings of guilt for thinking about themselves, finding ways to stay active for even as little as 30 minutes a day so you can be available to provide that support is a must for military spouses. Casey confirms that it actually is not selfish; it is another tool that can help you as you perform the selfless acts that your family needs you for.
“The truth of the matter is, as caregivers, we very often do put ourselves on the back burner. So, it takes, I think, concerted effort and it takes really thinking about it and making yourself do it.”
M&F Military Editor Rob Wilkins contributed to this Fit to Serve article.
